I often walk into the house and find my spawn writhing on the floor, moaning like they’ve swallowed live toads.
“Do you have appendicitis?” I ask.
“No. Math test tomorrow.” Or social studies, or science, or sentences. Whatever the homework, it’s always too much to face without a dramatic display of distress. But these same spawn have no problem memorizing and creating acronyms.
Here’s the one going around fifth grade:
SCHOOL = Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives
Fiona created this one about math: (Background note – The Irish and British way of saying “math” is “maths.” For example, “I lost my maths notebook.” I can’t explain this anymore than I can explain why “Dying fer a fag after snogging me bird at her flat,” means “I really wanted to smoke a cigarette after I kissed my girlfriend at her apartment.”)
MATHS = Mentally Affected Teachers Harassing Students
To which John replied:
MATHS = Magically Awesome Teachers Helping Students
Once I stopped gagging, I was inspired me to come up with an acronym for bee:
“Hmmm. Bug…eating…energetic…eggs? This is hard… Hey got one! BEE = Buzzing each & everyday!”
Fiona found my acronym pathetic, and gave me a brilliant alternative:
BEE = Beneficial Environmental Engineer
I like hers best.